Resolving Conflicts In Order to Maintain a Positive Relationship Between the Parent and Provider
There are four key elements that make for a successful, positive parent and provider relationship:

• Have respect for each other's feelings
• Be honest about each other's expectations
• Communicate
• Share the responsibility equally

One way to alleviate potential conflicts is to write down the major issues each party has in the form of a contract. In fact, some providers have a standard contract that parents are required to sign before enrolling their child. It is important that you read all such contracts or documents thoroughly and ask any questions before you sign them. If you feel that the provider's contract is missing a specific detail that is important to you, then ask the provider to modify it accordingly. The contract may contain information about payments, late charges, vacations, holidays, illness, meals, termination procedures and fee increases. Once you and the provider have signed the contract, it is important for you to keep a copy for your records.

Usually, any problems you have with the provider can be easily and quickly resolved with an informal discussion during pick-up or drop-off times. If you feel the issue is too serious and requires a more formal discussion, then schedule an appointment with the provider during after hours and, if possible, when children are not present. That way, the provider and you will have each other's undivided attention.

Examples of Common Conflict Situations

• Program rules: There may be issues over the fee and payment schedule, accepting ill children, vacation and holiday policies.
• Personal: There may be issues over child rearing, such as how much TV the children watch, what type of discipline is used, or what type of meals are served?
• Licensing Standards: There may be serious issues relating to the health and safety of the children, such as lack of supervision, too many children (over licensed capacity), physical or emotional punishment or unsafe equipment.

Guidelines for Resolving Conflicts

• Stay calm and do not act out of anger.
• Be clear about how you would like the situation resolved and what compromises you are willing to make.
• Listen to what the provider has to say.
• Whenever possible, try to resolve the conflict before having to remove your child from care.
• Set a timeline for implementing the changes that both the provider and you agree upon.
• Follow up with the provider to monitor if the situation is improving.

Remember that not every conflict can be resolved without assistance. If you have made an honest attempt to resolve the conflict but have had no meaningful result, then you may want to contact a third party. For licensing violations, contact Community Care Licensing at (408) 324-2148. For information regarding your right as a parent, contact the Child Care Law Center at (415) 394-7144.